Hope

It feels like such a long time since we got our referral for Allison on May 9th, and each day I wake up wondering if today will be the day that we get our phone call with our court date and travel dates. And each night there is an aching of my heart that it didn't come. Some days fear, worry, and sadness still get the best of me. Last night I was out with two dear friends from high school and I explained it like this. Imagine you are in your third trimester, ready to birth your baby, but your doctor keeps moving your due date back...indefinitely. Plus, I have the added ache of each day of Allison's life that I am missing.

I also have to admit that since school got out and with the loss of our normal routine, I haven't been very diligent about spending my morning time reading my Bible and praying before Megan and Emily wake up. But this morning I physically felt God calling me back to the book of Romans where I had left off.  Hope is what I am losing and struggling with, but Romans 4 talks about the lives of Abraham and Sarah while they waited for God's promise of a child.

Romans 4:18-25 (New International Version)


Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.

But then the book continues into chapter 5 and I felt God restoring my hope that He is in control and He loves us and Allison so much that we will be together just when we need to be.

Romans 5:1-5 (New International Version)
Peace and Joy

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
So this morning I am reminded to hold on to faith, hope, and love, and know that in the end it will all be worth it.