But Why Mommy

So now I have officially spent (wasted) my morning on the computer, but I have to say it was worth it to find this gem. This adoptive mom has a gift for writing and reflected many of my thoughts and feelings in a way that I can't. Here's a link to her blog. Please take a minute to read some of it (I guarantee it will be time well spent).
http://butwhymommy.blogspot.com/

Specifically I enjoyed (if it makes me cry, then it means that I enjoyed this, right?) these entries:
What It's Like (a description of adoptive pregnancy)
Doing the Hustle (how I really feel every time we have to come to our friends and family to ask for donations, or buy necklaces, or coffee, or purses....)
One (what I feel as I wonder who my baby is and what she is doing)

There are many more great entries about her Ethiopian adoption, but I hope that you'll take the time to read these and at the same time get a glimpse into how I'm feeling, but didn't have these words.

Garage Saling

Last night Tony and I had a postponed Valentine's date night, and Megan and Emily spent the night at my parents. This morning when we woke up, we decided to check out some garage sales, specifically because I had seen on facebook that a friend of mine, with two little girls, was having a garage sale this morning. We were incredibly successful. We hit one house with a bunch of cute girls clothes, and then we made it over to Cheryl's. She also had a ton of great clothes, some even still had the tags. But my favorite find was a pair of princess, light up, cowgirl boots. Too cute! And my grand total for all of these clothes (including the boots) was $5, plus I owe Cheryl a coffee and a playdate. :)

Thirty-One Fundraiser

My friend is a consultant for Thirty-One, and she has offered to allow me to host a party, and she will donate 15% of all sales to our adoption fund.

You can check out their merchandise and even shop by clicking here.

The actual party is on Wednesday, February 24th at 7:00 pm, and I'd love to have you come!

But, if that time doesn't work for you, I already have all of her samples and catalogues at my house. Just contact me to come over and take a look.

Valentine's Party

Last night was another of our monthly get-togethers with our friends who have adopted or are adopting from Ethiopia. I love being able to share stories and ask questions of these new, but good friends. Since we got together on Valentines weekend with so many little ones, we had to do a Valentine exchange. The kids were so sweet as they decorated their bags and then shared their candies and cards with their friends.

Rearranging

Our Room Before

Office/Baby's Room Before

Our Bedroom Mid-move

Our Bedroom After

We know that we are a long way out from bringing her home, but we have a lot to do to get ready. Plus, it feels good to be actively preparing and doing what we can while we wait.

Recently, we were given a crib by a friend (yet another way that God has provided). It was a multi step processes to decide to start rearranging our rooms, but it started by taking the crib upstairs to store it, then Tony assembled it a few days later. That took up a lot of room in our 4th bedroom, so I mentioned that maybe it was time to move the computer into our room. Last weekend, I come upstairs to see that Tony had taken me literally, and was unhooking the computer, and then started on the desk. When we bought the desk, many years ago from IKEA, Tony made the comment that we'd be selling the desk with the house because it wasn't ever coming out. Well, last weekend he got it out, and into our bedroom even though it required taking the doors off of both bedrooms and the back and top off of the desk.

After a long day, he had the desk set back up and the computer connected with the printers, modem, and all the other wires. It looks much better than I anticipated, and will work well for us as we turn our office into a nursery. The next step with be tackling all the "stuff" in that room, but we'll save that for another day.

His Reminders

After all the financial ups and downs of the past week, God continues to remind us of His faithfulness. With Tony's car repair, we were reminded that this adoption is not about us and not about what we do, but we are in His care and He is watching for us. Our next payment of thousands of dollars will come when we are matched with our daughter, so while we are anxious to put a face and a name to the love in our hearts, we also still need some time to pull together the money.
But after weeks of not receiving any money from our fundraising, we received $100 in the form of our first check from Just Love Coffee, I sold a necklace that I made, and we received a donation from a sweet family friend who had held onto our card and letter since we sent them out last September. They were waiting until after the 1st of the year, but then apologized for not getting it out right away in January, but I know that God was waiting for them to send it at just the right time that we needed it as a reminder of His faithfulness.

O LORD God almighty, who is like you?
You are mightly, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.
Psalm 89:8

6 months

Today marks 6 months since we officially started our adoption process. In the past six months, some of the things I have learned are:

• that God specifically calls us to care for orphans; James 1:27.
• how devastating AIDS has been to Ethiopia and the entire continent of Africa.
• where Ethiopia is.
• that you can deeply love a child that you haven't met or even know their name.
• that God provides just what we need when we need it.
• adoption involves a lot of paperwork.
• that there are many amazing families who have adopted and we have loved getting to know them.
• how generous Megan and Emily are.
• how generous many of our friends and family are.
• what a dossier is.
• what an I-600A is.
• where the USCIS office is in Phoenix.
• how to be biometrically fingerprinted.
• that DHL tracking is a great thing.
• that I am not in control.
• that Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee, and Ethiopian coffee is really good.
• never say that you are done having kids, God may yet change your heart.
• that I am a doer. I don't sit and wait well. I'm working on that.
• that Tony has a traffic violation on his police report from over 10 years ago (but mine came back clear, by the way). ;)
• that the volunteer fingerprinter at the downtown Chandler Police station has an adopted Ethiopian grandson.
• that adoption can trigger the same hormones as pregnancy, including nesting and craziness.
• that Megan, Emily, and I don't love Ethiopian food, but Tony does.
• that I love when people read my blog, and I really love when people leave comments. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but it's me just being honest.
• that I love reading other blogs (especially of people who have adopted or are adopting).
• there is nothing better you can do with your life than to follow God wholeheartedly.

I know that there are many more things we have learned, and many more things that we will learn, but it just seamed like I had to mark this milestone in a special way. And, if you are adopting or have adopted, in the comments, feel free to add what you are learning or learned along your journey.

Car Update

After being a one car family for 5 days, we got Tony's car back today. Praise to God, it was not as bad as we first thought. Our repairs were near $800, but that was 1/3 to 1/2 of what we had originally anticipated. Again, the LORD will provide! I do have to still fight off thoughts of all the other things that the $800 could have gone to, especially in a time when we are choosing to cut every non-essential expense, and we have such a long way to go to completely finance our adoption. But, the LORD will provide. I refuse to believe that He will allow money to come between us and our daughter, but He is teaching us to put our trust only in Him. Jesus said in John 14:1, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me."

On a side note, we did make the best of being a one car family for a few days. Though I am grateful to have Tony's car back, I did enjoy having him home a little later in the morning so I could drive him after dropping Megan off at school, and the girls and I picked up drinks from Sonic's Happy Hour before we picked him up yesterday afternoon, and surprised Tony with his favorite drink in the cup holder when he got in the truck.

The LORD Will Provide

Today we got some bad news. Tony's car needs some major (and very expensive) work. It's a 2001 sedan, so it isn't even worth very much to start.

We are already strained as far as we can go as we pay for our adoption, and then we have this unplanned bump. The money for the repairs is going to have to come out of our adoption fund, and we have to trust God.

So again, I'm turning His word and His promises.

Do you know that the word "provide" is used 101 times in the NIV Bible? And that "provision" is used another 24 times? Now they aren't all referencing financial provision, and God providing for our needs is not the same as God meeting every want that comes across out path. And many of those verses talk about how we are to provide for others. But right now I am trusting Him on our path of adoption and that He will provide a way through this. (Maybe I should do a follow up word study on "trust", "help", and "faith".--Ok, I got on a roll and did look up those words as well.)

Provide:
Genesis 22:14
So Abraham called that place, The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."

Trust:
Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 22:5
They cried to you and were saved,
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

Help:
Psalm 5:2
Listen to my cry for help
My King and my God
For to you I pray.

Psalm 124:8
Our help is in the name of the LORD
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Faith:
2 Corinthians 5:7
We live by faith and not by sight.

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

What a great time that was for me to read and find those verses. I wish I had more time to do just that, but I have to go pick up Emily from pre-school, Megan from school, and now Tony from work since we are currently a one car family, before we head out for soccer practice tonight.

PS - To search out your own truths from God's word, I suggest the website www.BibleGateway.com

On a Roller Coaster

Right now I am so envious of my husband. Everything for him is factual, and he doesn't get worked up over emotions. Which is good, because I often have enough emotions for the both of us. Like this week.

A week ago I was talking with a friend which led me to allow myself a little leeway in starting to prepare to bring our baby home. We made our first trips to BabiesRUs and buybuyBaby, we got a crib, I've started looking at crib bedding, I allowed my heart to connect with her deeper than before and dream of her over in Ethiopia as we prepare for her here. I was looking forward to today's phone call and expected to hear just what I wanted to hear--that we were getting close, really close. But, what I heard was we are still months away, and it could be many months. When I was pregnant, I got to figure out my due date within hours of knowing that my child was growing inside of me. I held on to that date like a precious jewel. And even through the waiting, I knew just where my baby was at every moment--right with me.

Adoption is full of so many unknowns, and unfortunately, this one has brought me into a funk. I know it will be short term. I know that it is all in God's hands. I know that He knows our daughter and is watching out for her. I also know that we are not financially ready for our next payment and then travel costs.

So these are the verses that I'm holding onto tonight. Thank you Lord. Sometimes I feel like I am barely strong enough to do this with You, I can't imagine doing this without You.

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Matthew 6:34
Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Phone Call

In a few minutes we have a phone call with our representatives at Dove. This call is intended to walk us through what we need to do now to prepare to travel and what is involved when we are in Ethiopia. This is also an opportunity for us to ask any questions we have about what to pack for our baby, when to get our immunizations, and any other lingering questions we may have. We still have not been matched, but once we are, we are told, that it is a whirlwind and we need to start preparing now. This is one more step we can check off in our process, which is nice in this phase of our adoption because mostly we are just waiting now.

Haiti's Orphans

As I wrote about on our family blog, www.TheWeberFamilyNews.blogspot.com, the stories of the orphans in Haiti have deeply impacted me as I've watched the news and heard stories of people who have been there first hand. But I've also been interested in watching people here and how international adoption has been brought to the forefront. My friend, Bethany, has an Ethiopian daughter, and she also has been paying attention to people's thoughts and comments and wrote a great response that I'd like to share with you.

Hutchison Family Blog

buybuyBABY Date Night

Last week Emily and I ran into a friend at the library who has adopted from Ethiopia. It was a great unexpected meeting, but we were able to talk for quite a while while Emily and her daughter played. One thing she asked me is what we've done to start getting ready. I told her we haven't done anything, and she suggested that we start thinking about preparing for her arrival. It is true that our referral could still be a ways away, but the time from our referral to our travel will be a whirlwind.
So, on Sunday nights our girls go to Awana, and we get to have a date night. Last night our date night was to the new baby superstore in town, buybuyBABY. It was so much fun to finally be shopping for our baby. I've held off because I knew my excitement would be out of control once we passed that milestone, and I was right. Right now we are focusing on what bedding we want, so then we can paint, look for a crib, and most of all, my mom is going to make a quilt for the baby to match her room. We are also starting to realize just how much "stuff" we have in the office that needs to be relocated.
But as I was looking at all the bedding and baby clothes, it hit me again, that she is probably already born and living in Ethiopia. I have 15 choices of pink and brown blankets, but did she have any blanket to keep her warm last night? I get to choose from 20 different styles of bottles, but did she get enough to eat? My heart aches as I just want to bring her home.