Can I be transparent, again, for a moment? I heard this song on the radio this morning, and I can't get it out of my head. What we are doing is exciting, but it's also scary. I look at my girls and see how independent they are getting, and I wonder, what am I thinking with starting over with another little one? One who will probably reject me at first because she has been torn from everything she knows. Adoption is expensive, and we have no idea (but for God) where the money is going to come from. Lord, I cut coupons so that I can be a stay at home mom! But yet, there is a tugging on my heart that says our family is not complete. That God has an amazing adventure planned for us if we follow Him. That we have seen confirmation after confirmation that this is what we are to do. Am I really so dense that I need my own burning bush? I hope not, but maybe I am.
For me, going through the motions means living our life as a family of four, attending church and Bible study, leading my MIT group, and ignoring that there is an orphan on the other side of the world who needs a family. For me, giving God everything means stepping out in faith that He is going to lead us through this crazy adventure. Honestly I still think, Ethiopia? Really? Africa? Are you sure? I didn't know where Ethiopia was two months ago! But what if we don't follow and years from now I have to ask, "What if I had given everything?"
One more thought, if you've stuck with me this far. Maybe for you giving God your everything isn't taking in an orphan as your own. Maybe it's taking a plate of brownies to the neighbor who you know is at her wits end with the stress of life. Maybe it's helping out in the nursery on Sundays. Maybe it's making extra room in your budget to sponsor a child in another country through an organization like Compassion International. Those are all good things, but what if maybe, just maybe, it's something bigger.
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